Back Again to Save the World

INSIDE THE IDIOT BOX - January 15, 2006

The last time we saw Agent Jack Bauer on Fox’s 24 – aka The Most Ridiculously Nerve-Wracking Show in TV History – it was last May, and the world’s luckiest and unluckiest man (Yes, he holds both titles) was strolling off into the sunset with a backpack slung over his shoulder, Incredible Hulk style. All that was missing was the tinkling of the piano keys and a Bill Bixby voiceover.
That was nearly 8 months ago, and whatever Jack’s been doing since, he certainly deserved a little R&R. Or do I need to remind you that last season all the man did was narrowly avert a missile attack on nuclear power plants all over the United State? It was his worst day yet – and that’s saying something.
But last season’s finale for the famously real-time action show didn’t tie up all the loose ends. Tonight, 24 finally returns for its fifth season, which promises to be another no good, very bad day for Kiefer Sutherland and his pals at the Counter Terrorism Unit (CTU), and the first question that needs to be answered is: How has Bauer managed to steer clear of Chinese government officials? If you recall, the Chinese were extremely displeased with Bauer by last season’s end for reasons which are far too convoluted to be adequately explained here, but which involved a ski mask and a fair amount of torture. Come to think of it, doesn’t nearly every episode of 24 involve a ski mask and a fair amount of torture?
I don’t know about you, but I’m seriously jazzed about the new season, even if I’m not quite sure what exactly the writers can throw at him at this point. Here’s a quick review of what Bauer has been able to accomplish already during the show’s run (and remember, each season takes place over the 24 hours of a single day):
Season One: Foiled an assassination attempt on a Presidential candidate while simultaneously dealing with kidnappers who were holding his wife and his incredible stupid daughter Kim hostage.
Season Two: Foiled a plan to set off a nuclear bomb in Los Angeles, while simultaneously attempting to deal with the incredible stupidity of his daughter Kim.
Season Three: Foiled a terrorist plot to release a deadly airborne virus in Los Angeles, while simultaneously coping with his incredibly stupid daughter Kim, who during this season – in the show’s most egregious stretch of credulity yet – worked for CTU.
Season Four: Foiled the aforementioned nuclear power plan plot. To the unending delight of most of the show’s fan, his daughter Kim did not appear during this season, but was undoubtedly off someplace doing incredibly stupid things.
Now those are some really bad days. Still, if you believe the promos that have been running seemingly round-the-clock on Fox these days, this season is going to be Bauer’s “worst day yet.” Yikes.
You’ve probably noticed that I haven’t actually mentioned exactly what is going to happen this season. That’s because – as a huge fan of the show – I’d rather not know. If you’re really interested, there are countless web sites that report “spoilers” and speculate on what might happen to the gang this year. But for most fans, the fun of watching 24 has always been the surprises, which fly as fast as all the bullets and punches. From its very inception, the show’s writers have proven that viewers should be ready for anything. The fun begins tonight.
Tonight’s two-hour 24 premiere begins at 8 p.m. and is followed by another two-hour installment tomorrow night at the same time. After that, the show settles into its regular Monday at 9 p.m. and runs new episodes every week until May.

COMIC TALK: If you’re a fan of stand-up comedy, check out TV Land’s new interview show Sitdown Comedy with David Steinberg. The show is an entertaining variation of Bravo’s successful Inside the Actors Studio, with veteran comedian Steinberg interviewing his peers in front of a live audience and generally functioning as a less annoying James Lipton. Already during the show’s run, Steinberg has queried comic royalty including Bob Newhart, Larry David, Mike Myers and Martin Short. This Wednesday at 10 p.m., on the final episode of the show’s first season, Steinberg will talk with George Lopez, whose ABC sitcom has become a sleeper hit. It’s worth checking out, and worth seeking out reruns of the earlier episodes, especially the one with the historically interview-phobic David. It’s a hoot, and the Steinberg’s show – which will almost certainly become a must-stop for comedians to talk shop – makes for surprisingly fascinating viewing.
Sitdown Comedy with David Steinberg airs Wednesday nights at 10 p.m. on TV Land.