Batten Down The Lampshades

So I just got one of the saddest emails ever. It came from the Republican National Committee - somehow I'm on their email distribution list even though I'm registered as an Indepedent - and it asked whether I wanted to host a ... wait for it ... GOP House Party on May 22. Apparently, on that day, Republicans all over the country will be gathering in groups to raise money for the upcoming fall elections.

Oh, to have a hidden camera planted at one of these. I don't know how much money will be raised at the house parties, but I can guarantee that there will be a lot of people there who have carefully studied this video, and will be applying its lessons. Oh yeah, and I'm pretty sure these guys won't be invited to any of GOP House Parties, despite their starring roles in the House Party movie franchise. I mean, my God. Who dreamed up the "MyGOP House Party" idea? Must have been a Democrat.

And then, just when you though the concept couldn't get any more absurd, there is this: The organizers of the five most successful GOP House Parties will be rewarded with special edition - I kid you not - George W. Bush iPods. I'm serious - the W iPod is just like a regular iPod, only sometimes it skips and stumbles and plays the wrong song. No word on whether the success of a MyGOP House Party will be judged by how much money is raised, or by how few white guys get sent to the hospital with dance-related injuries.