Starbucks Doesn't Frost, It Enrobes

So I was waiting in line at Starbucks for my morning tea (yes, I go to Starbucks to buy tea, which I realize is wrong on many, many levels but I just can't stop myself PLEASEHELPYAGOTTAHELPMEPLEASE...) ahem, where was I?

Oh, yes, so I was waiting in line at Starbucks and I noticed that the venerable coffee house is now serving chocolate-frosted donuts. Mmmm. Only they don't call them that. They call them - get this - "Chocolate Enrobed Donuts," as if the circular piece of fried dough that is a donut has been slipped inside a chocolate negligee. Just so we're clear, if you ever attempted to order a "Chocolate Enrobed" Donut at a Dunkin' Donuts you'd more than likely be greeted with a faceful of scalding hot coffee, plus a donk on the head with the coffee pot for good measure. But I guess we should expect this from the place that forced all of us to use words like "venti" and "no-foam" and "macchiato," the latter of which, much to my chagrin, is in no way a tribute to Ralph Macchio.

Anyway, I guess this is as good a time as any to listen to the wise words of The Kid From Brooklyn and his anti-Starbucks rant that burned across the Internet a while back. Before you click on it, know that it uses some colorful language, but it's no more offensive than referring to the process of slathering a donut in chocolate as "enrobing."